As we cycle deeper into the summer of 2014, the awesome and truly awful trends have established themselves along high-street and designer stores alike. With the return of florals, pastels and festival delights, the summer has brought many trends that have resulted in sincere contemplation of stabbing my own eyes out with a clothes hanger.
|Image - http://www.pinterest.com/pin/498140408757249853/|
I covered this in the 2013 round-up of awful trends, but much to my despair this novelty has only grown in momentum, with just about everybody and their aunt sticking their sweaty toe sausages into this sorry excuse for a pair of shoes. Unless you are dressing up as Lolita for a fancy dress party or are perversely inspired to attempt "toddler" chic, then you need to back away from these monstrosities. Plus, do you really want to smell like a giant rubber beach ball all summer?
|http://www.pinterest.com/pin/29695678767688405/ - Note: She totally pulls it off.|
Keeping running with the toddler theme - why is everybody intent on wearing these awful sacks covered with daisies? If you're anything above a C-cup and wearing one of these, you look practically pregnant! Whilst, yes, Alexa Chung totally carries them off with panache, the majority of us are not style icons with twigs for limbs. Go back to the skater dresses, please and stop dressing as though you're going to the creche instead of the club.
|Image - http://www.pinterest.com/pin/381750505885607414/ - This is how a slip should be worn. Keep it classy.|
I totally get the 90s revival. I totally do. Bring on the plaid, the velvet, the grunge, the band t-shirts, the mom jeans. I can cope with that. But a slip dress? Does anybody actually remember what a slip dress is? It's an undergarment to be worn under dresses to preserve modesty and smooth out silhouettes! Plus the fact, it essentially is just a bit of fabric held up by two strips of material - can you get anymore boring than that?!
|Image - http://www.pinterest.com/pin/545357836098285632/ - Lazy days - yes, partying, no.|
I'm all on board with the sports luxe trend - after all I'm quite partial to flinging on a great pair of trainers to grunge up an outfit and stick a sports bra on underneath transparent shirts, but really, why have jogging bottoms become common place to see people wearing around everywhere? Only a year ago you would have been knocked back from several entertainment establishments for just wearing trainers, but now people are walking in with joggers covered in sequins? Keep it for the gym, ladies!
|Image - http://www.pinterest.com/pin/304133781058626057/ - Be careful how you style these.|
Do you know that thing that happens maybe twice a year where you randomly retch for no reason? That was my reaction when I saw these bad boys were back en vogue. Sure, I can understand the irony - the same way I can understand the stylistic irony of novelty jumpers, mom jeans and geek-chic glasses. Birkenstocks do have their place in our wardrobes, but not with the rest of the Hipster uniform. Can we say walking fashion cliche?
What have been your pet hates of SS2014? Let us know in the comments below!
Live by the catwalk, die by the donut.